“They can’t be depressed they smile, laugh and seem to have life all planned out” – Or so it may seem.
Depression, it’s the source of much contradiction and a topic I have shyly avoided revealing. So here I go…
I HAVE DEPRESSION
“But how can you be depressed?” they’d ask. I imagine the words stabbing me in the chest. I suppose the question is valid – I seem to have confidence, I smile and am surrounded by so many people who love and care about me.
What more could anyone want?
It’s like you can’t possibly be sad, unless your life is basically falling apart at your fingertips. But strangely enough that’s not how depression works.
See, I felt ashamed of the way I felt with even just the word ‘depression’ giving me an uncomfortable feeling. It was like I had a life out there ready to enjoy but it was no longer in my reach.
A chemical imbalance that alters your emotions leaving you drowning and believing you’re a burden to everyone around. It feels like you’re the sink of all happiness, drowning all hope. The things that could normally be brushed off now tear chunks out of your sanity..
With depression I always imagined someone miserable who would lay in bed and cry all day. But thats NOT ALWAYS the case. For me it’s hit differently every time, a feeling so numb that even tears where to much to feel, a smile painted perfect, till alone washed away…
I’ve learnt from myself Depression has so many different faces and forms and what’s on the surface is not always so. It could affect one of your closest friends or the man round the local shop.
Depression DOES NOT discriminate.
Yes at times all you can do at the end of a long day is lie down and shut your eyes. But ground yourself – notice your heart, it’s still beating, still fighting. You made it to here and that’s what matters right now. You have a 100% track record of surviving even the worst day’s which shows the strength to overcome.